Up at 5:00 AM  today. I have a friend Tad that will go to Fort Leavenworth Hospital for yet another test for a pain in his, well ASS. He has been trying to find out the cause for three years to no avail. He gets in my car and hands me two music CD's that he made for me. Tad and I are friends if not best friend. We got sober together 13 years ago and I took him as my sponsor. Tad's dad was an atheist but he is quite spiritual just not religious. He is very analytical and quite well read. His knowledge of music may even be greater than the number of books he has read. On average two or three a week. As we drove a back way on hwy 5 I sang along to my new CD Warren Zevon "Send lawyers guns and money dad get me out of this". We check in and as we wait for the nurse to take him away I put my hand on his knee and bow my head. When I look up at him he said "that is the only thing I haven't tried". I said why don't you just believe that I believe and this time asked God in a quite audible voice to give us the answer and cure for his pain. The nurse hands me a pager. "It will beep when he is done". I asked if it will work if I take a walk a mile away. She shakes her head yes. I walk out side and look up at a scaffolding that goes clear up and around the entire hospital.Workers are just starting to arrive and get out tools. A restoration is underway to save this place. As I walk down towards the old catholic chapel I see more buildings that need extensive renovation too. If they don't move fast they will not last much longer. I think what a shame to see empty places that could be homes for some of the thousands of homeless vets.Tad and I have a friend Matt that is in rehab at the hospital. He will soon be one of them. Homeless that is. He is not in too big of hurry to be released for that reason. Just then the sun picks up a reflection off a distant pond and just beyond that I see the white rows of marble. The cemetery rolling hills filled with white monuments. At that moment I think of all the sacrifices of all dead that are burred in this place. The sound of lawn mowers and smell of fresh cut grass fill the air. I walk on past a dead red cedar tree covered in poison ivy it made up the only green part of the tree. It set back behind a house that was not part of the well manicured cemetery grounds.
Just then my phone rang. It was Matt. What are you doing? he asked. I told him I was thanking some people for the sacrifice they had made to my country. We agreed to meet up at the pond. Matt had a few days growth of beard on his face but sported a huge smile.  Fishing rods stuck out next to the seat as I climbed into his truck. We drove up to a new dog park and he introduced me to his friend Sam. Sam's two dogs made a game of chasing any squirrel that dare try to come out of a tree. Then we made our way back to the hospital just in time to hear the buzz of my beeper. Lets go get him. I learned a little secret that Tad's real name was Arthur. So when he appeared at the door both at the same time said hey
Arthur and began to laugh. Tad had a funny look on his face then the most giddy laugh I have ever heard came out of his face. I haven't felt this good in thirteen years he said with another laugh and I am going to enjoy it. We drive him back up to the dog park and find a guy named Tom with a English bull dog that Tad can't stop loving on. Tom's other Jack Russell mix trying to breed a much larger black dog. He gets a scolding from Tom who keeps telling him to stop with no luck. As we walk back to the car Tad said I think your prayer worked. Both Matt and I looked for further explanation to this claim. That doctor actually listened to me. When he finished he told me that he thought with a Botox injection I might not have anymore pain. There might just be something to this prayer stuff.  I said, "let me tell you how I think it works Tad. First you need to have the person pray.  Then you need to have faith that God will answer the prayer. You had faith in my faith and received the grace from God. I just asked God did the rest".
Not all prayers are answered with a yes. But if we have faith, we can trust that God will answer every prayer.

My journey with cancer

I found out the lump in my neck was Squamous cell cancer April 5.

My life became a BLURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday April 13 and I started the day at the YMCA. This is a place that is all about love and caring.

I have been a member of the Y for years and have made friends with most of the trainers. Trainer John is one of my best friends and I helped him find his house. When I shared about my cancer he looked me straight in the eye, gave me a big hug and said “my brother had that same cancer and is doing fine”.

Patti and I drove in to town to find our accountant Tom P. Tom has done our taxes and been friends for all most twenty years. He was not answering his phone. He now works out of his house and didn’t look to good when I dropped them off a week or so ago. We get to his house and he finally answers the door. He looked almost dead and had mucus all over his sweatshirt his belt was not buckled and his fly was open. He had not shaven in a week and had the worst case of bed head I had ever seen. Are you ok Tom? “No not to good” he said. I said Tom I am a recovering alcoholic and go to AA. He looked at me and said, “I admit I’m an alcoholic and I have been to AA too. When is the last time you ate anything Tom? It’s been a week. Tom I need my taxes back right now. I followed him into his house and climbed the stairs to his office. His bed is on the other side of the room with the TV on. A smell of stale booze fills the air and then I realize it was him. Tom I love you, tomorrow I am taking you to the hospital. You need help! I will see you in about an hour with some food and off we went. I drove down state line road to his old office and talked with them to see if they might do our taxes. I told them what I found at Tom’s house. “He won’t let you help him” they said. I looked at them and said, “he has no choice because we don’t give up on one another”. I told them I have squamous cell neck cancer I found out a week ago and God is not going to give up on me. One of the men looked at me and said, “my brother had that same kind of cancer and is fine”. Then he gave me a number of one of Tom’s friends and said “he might help you with Tom’s intervention”. Patti took the number and when we got in the car I called. His name was John and I asked him if he could be at Tom’s house at 10:00 the next morning. He agreed and in my conversation I told him that I felt like God wants me to help Tom to get my mind off my neck cancer. John said “do you have squamous cell?” I said,“Yes I do”. Well “I had that five years ago”. I started to laugh and said, "now I know God has his hand in this". I took food back to Tom’s house after dropping Patti at home. He would not come to the door and then I saw all the notes from other clients on his door pleading for him to call them back. I called 911 and said I think Tom is a danger to himself. They took Tom away to the VA hospital. Tom wanted to go home but agreed to stay the night. He also agreed to give all his clients to another accountant. Tom agreed to go with me to AA every day for the rest of the month. I called John to tell him what Tom said and that he would not need to be at the house at ten for the intervention. Then John shared with me that he was a recovering alcoholic and a member of AA too. Then he asked me what hospital I would be going to for treatment and the name of my doctor? When I told him he started to laugh and said “I was treated at the same hospital and by the same doctor”.

What are the odds? To find two men with brothers that are both survivors with the same cancer as mine? Or John, having the same cancer being treated at the same hospital with the same doctor and both of us being recovering alcoholics in AA? I think God has a sense of humor.

Up date:  The Tom P went home Sunday from the VA. He was picked up by Blake W. who has 22 years sober and will move in with him for the next 6 months.

 I walked into the YMCA yesterday and Mark a friend at the front desk that keeps his bible on the counter said, “hey Mike I have a something for you. That is when he gave me a book.  Fighting cancer with faith. 

It's about a man with the same cancer and his testimony.